My Unforgettable Internship Story, experience, Lesson learned (Part 2)

19 April 2014

Hey Hey Hey Hey I'm shocked you know what it's really a true story of me but at the same time I realized somehow someone some of you actually experienced the same things too. Wtf?! But selling credit card? That was crazy but I'm really touch that some of you actually inbox message telling me that you love me sharing and blogging for something relate more on my personal life. You know what I thought all of you not interested about my life because it's quite boring and should be saying that I don't wanna share something bad in my blog since I really work hard on maintaining it with full of happy and positive blog post. But sometime feedback really seems to be different and I'm here to continue my second part. Fyi, this blog post also quite long you know~ I need to summary things I experienced and learned within that 3 months into a blog post. Was quite hard for me...

So before I start about I need to say it clear. I doesn't means that all the insurance industry was bad but in my view and position I hope that you think that as an intern student. We never get to know the real world and never understand the rules. So when I get to experience all these I'm really shock that it does happen like how you all trying to cheer me up after read this post. Firstly, I admit and I personally got insured by insurance company + Insurance IS REALLY IMPORTANT. Once you start work and get a job at least you should get one to protect yourself and your family. Since I'm study in finance you know that I do know lots of thing. Insurance agent can earn thousands of money depend on how responsible you are and how you social , meet friends with others. 

The reason why I personally dislike about wasn't the insurance stuff. It's all about being an intern and had been lie by someone get into all those shits happen during that 3 months but I learned lots of lessons too. 

I learned to be brave and even able to communicate with someone I don't know
I learned how to control my EQ
I learned how to talk in front of public
I learned how to use my words nicely 
I learned how useless am I even I know all finance stuff that I learned in my University
I learned how to fake a smile to show my boss
I learned how I release my stress in a good way
I learned how to tolerance and be patient to others even I don't like them
I learned how to cry like an ugly duck
I learned how lonely am I when I'm alone sitting at the office and afraid I can't make any appointment
I learned that even you got the right to do something BUT YOU CANT
I learned how terrible I have to face the reality
I learned how to control the pain even my menstrual pain was really suffer like hell
I learned that no matter how bad situation , there are always somebody willing to hear you but can't help you
I learned that rich people always right even they bullshitting with you
I learn that even I know the truth, I can't say it in front of the customer
I learn that being nice with someone in the office doesn't means that that person have to be nice to you
I learned that no matter how strong am I , I have to act that I'm weak and stupid
I learned that I can't even blog and fb express my expression
I learned that we as an intern can't go out with all our colleagues
I learned that IF YOU DARE TO TALK , YOU'RE THE winner (in a bad way - lie to people)

If you ask me to list out. I can write the whole A4 size paper and I'm going to tell you the truth. Tell you how I learned those thing one by one. So story continue from my previous post. I'm disappointed on my friends and 3 of my friends intern at that company I was like ' Okay, admin paper job can learn thing wat..Boss also told me that we no need do sales. One month later it's our first day of internship. 

    Few weeks later

I remember before the internship start (2 weeks or a weeks before) the boss actually created a group telling us that we have a small training on the first day. Hope we get ready and telling us some bullshits. I think if I didn't prove it nobody will know that and see how smart all of us. We are not stupid k. Let me show you this conversation then I slowly explain what he mean by that.

I know you got lots of question marks now. It's exactly how we feel on that day. We received a watsapp msg about something regarding this. See how smart he can talk with. Throughout whole intern he's the one teach us no matter your facts was wrong or you're lie to somebody. YOU DARE TO SAY IT and be confident. You always no need to be afraid. so wtf right?!  Never think before he talk and throughout whole conversation basically he just told us that our intern no longer was RM600 (as promised this was the salary we get) he so called 'upgraded' it to RM3k salary

Funny right? The fact is I still can get all print screen back. Never believe on something without any facts and prove. How come RM3K? Like free gift or he thought that we study until crazy don't know how to differentiate what is true and what is fake one. The conversation was nothing but to double confirm my friends and I was like ask again say...SO RM600 is our basic..or

HE SAID ' NO..' It was RM3000

Unbelievable I actually never hate insurance agent because some of my friends were an insurance agent but after this i really see the true side of maybe not all but SOME! Some insurance agent got a same kind of personality which always TALK BIG BIG but end up it's not related to what they said. Some whatever you ask he/she also answer ' YEA LA..SURE PAY ONE..ACCIDENT OR WHAT ALSO WILL PAY ONE INSURANCE MA~' Ok! This is why when accident really happen people can't get any compensation and start to blame on those insurance agent. And this is why ...I think that I can't handle it PLUS I hate how the boss trying to brainwash us. wtf

So we stopped the conversation like that (he thought that he can meet us earlier before the intern) We just wait intern date start only meet him cause we doesn't wish to be the stupid one start it earlier. 

     First Day 

So yea..It's our first day of intern. We get trained in a group. Whole day sitting inside their meeting room. It was really tiring and he start to talk about how important insurance in our life (but in fact, I learned it , we knew it , we already realize it) He just can't stop talking in front and reading that slides and we got note that he print out for us. I feel touch because it seems like to be really a good one. I persuade myself that it was just a task for us to understand more about their job not trying to ask us sell anything YET. The first day passed like that and he start to talk about the 3k basic salary. You might be shock if you continue read this. I really finally know that how people can talk until 死的都都给他讲到变生 /弯的都给他讲到变直的! Someone help me translate the previous sentence pls. It means that like something not occur also can let him say until it actually occur. The road in fact wasn't straight but he can talk until it's really straight. LOL My english suck but you all can understand right! Lol


You know right. I'm really strong in principle and I doesn't think that this world can give us free lunch without giving out something to people. End up the truth was.... kind of stupid.. That 3k isn't a basic (but the point is he told us it's basic) I don't care what's the amount I very pek-cek when people talk and do things differently. It's just so stupid and I can't believe a BOSS can do like this. I really think that he should be sorry about this not telling everyone that ' Chanwon was smart enough to know the reality.' He praise me for being smart know that this world don't have any free lunch. WTF?! First impression in my mind, I know I would be suffer alot after that. 

Ok, back to the topic. The 3K salary was a some kind like...hmmm.. a scheme for all the NEW agent register under A Company. Then each month if you hit the target you can get 3k. What does it mean? IT MEANS THE BOSS LIE.. I'm really really strong in principle. REALLY! I think I really can't forgive people always take thing as a joke when it come to serious issues like this example. He end up with a sentence that we are smart? HUH?! HELLO ARE YOU CRAZY? Then, story continue... We say we are not interested about that in the meeting room straight away after he told us. You know I was the one who said that because I TOLD HIM I WILL NEVER SELL ANY PLAN OR WHATSOEVER during my intern since it's not our job.

AS A BOSS. He don't know what's the responsibility. He just know how to benefits himself , others in a business way. Never ever skip his mind from profit. He never did anything that bad or sacrifice on himself. He just so SELFISH! A 30+ male..Don't even know.. How he suppose to ask people trust on him. Maybe he good to others but why bully us as an intern?! ANYONE CAN ANSWER ME? He reject our request. Ask us to think about it since it's really nice and he told us that STUDENT you guys need that 3k amount of money. You all can do lots of thing you want..blablablablaaaaaaaa Then he went out from the meeting room.

I tear and whole eyes so red. They all trying their best to calm down me. You know I feel like...I get into the wrong thing. The boss then know us not interested about the scheme he stop persuade  but the next few day start again. Before that , he prepared a file for us inside got lots of notes regarding our job scope and a thick small book - interview feedback / appointment feedback book. I was like wtf? (Boss went out so we open it look at it one by one) I tear. I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M THAT WEAK.

I.... mentally unstable

You know like you thought that this company should be GOOD. Then fall down from heaven to hell. That kind of feeling. Then the most amazing wasn't that much...Next, the book behind got few pages of paper. It was a form..

Calling List
Name | Job | Phone Number 

That phone call list that you need to fill in yourself. He....ask us to take out our phone. Start to write our friend's name and their phone number. Date them out , not sell but TELL them you're doing this job. You know I never call and sometime I call smelly in the toilet I cried. No matter what you can do on me ...I'm okay with it but never ever touch my friends. I told him that if I wanna earn hard earn money. I do own a online business and I got a little income from being a blogger. (Feel like slap myself giving him the chance to tell me bad how stupid I was)

He told me.....

'How much you can earn from your online business?'
'It's not stable one you know , Chanwon'
'How much you can earn from writing a blog post'
' Can your salary accumulate every months / years?'
'You know...the highest you get was like that once in awhile?'
'You girls love to shopping ...lalalalalalalaa'
'why got a easier way to earn money you don't want'

I feel that I'm just stupid to tell  him what's in my mind because everything told by him was correct and I'm the wrong one. I'm kind of straight forward but first time in my life I was hope that I should choose to shut up. Even my friends all  O.O I realize it quite late... Now I know my dad and my mom told me the right thing. The point was...

If I take this job as my career then I will do what you ask me to do. 
But ...
I'm just an intern why I need to take benefits from my friends..
Why I need to call them buy anything from me if I never take this as my future career. 
I know being an agent wasn't easy as he said to us
you need to catch up things, you need to be responsible..


I know what it means. My mom and dad always teach me that always be responsible. When I was 12 years old I borrow a friend's pen and I brought it home the time my mom know it. My mom ask me to call my friend told him that I took his pen back and tell me that I SHOULD BE RESPONSIBLE for it. I shouldn't bring it home no matter what. I should wait my friend back to class only can get it home with his permission. So my mom scold me really hard. Next, when I was age 15 I didn't bring my homework I can't pass up my homework to my teacher. The teacher ask me to call my parent come and deliver it to me if not she will 'rotan' me. I call my mom my mom scold me so hard..scold me that this was my task and my responsible as a student I shouldn't forget about it. I beg my mom and cried. My mom end up didn't come and teacher hit my hand. I cried so hard again and once I back home my mom scold me and told me that NEVER EVER CALL her if I forgotten anything or when teacher wanna to  meet her.

That's how my parent educate me. So after that no matter how even my competition.. I never ask my mom to come. They never feel proud of me when I joining those competition and teacher always complain me very talkative my mom feel shameful on that. Me too.... but when I went to University. During presentation of the topic I love , multimedia project..Lecturer always praise me being able to talk even I'm not the best one but I'm able to express myself with a louder sound than anyone. That's the reason I start to think positively. During that 3 month of intern, I keep telling myself everything will be smooth after that..

But still.. I cried so much in front of my friends , boss and colleagues. I feel shame on myself too. I never cry so hard feel so helpless even nobody can help me. I feel the stressful life and turn being so negative. The only thing I can do was at night talking with smelly, my bf. But still he can't help me but really thanks for being my listener. Thanks smelly although I know you wont read this again because you heard about it for more than 10 time! Lol

I really not happy when the boss ask me to write my friend down  on list. So I deleted my phone's contact list. ALL! I'm afraid he check my phone because others agent told me that we were the one the boss care the most. He told us that previously the first day they get into this company the boss ask them call their friend IN FRONT OF HIM. So should I be glad at the same time? Idk, I just know that I feel really bad on if I treat my friend like that. So i wrote some fake number fake name on the list and smelly contact , my dad , my bro , my mom , my BFF lyvia and some repeated copy from my other intern friends contact. By the time I fill in I tear. So someone broke up with me..

I know I over react it but you know it really was a sensitive issues for me since I really trust him that he wont ask us to do that. Then boss enter the meeting room he can feel it especially the expression on my face (So I learned not to show everything truly on my face anymore) Then next few hour I keep myself patiently and not to tear. Continuously ...being a silent one..

You know even until now it passed so long. I still remember that feeling because I really trust on someone but he did disappointed me. Friendship and Then I back home. I don't even talk to anyone because I feel I'm stupid to get offer for this job and being stupid that I'm happy at first.. Never think carefully when I already feel that it's weird. Keep blaming so very negative thinking and...until the next few days..

     First Week

Boss require more & more stuff from us. Every Monday we need to go for a night meeting. It was after our office hour. It's all agent's activity. REMEMBER THAT..It's not in our job scope and we didn't get pay for that. We have to all the way drive to klang! You know how far it was? We all so sleepy already still....Then 4 of us start to have secret meeting everyday after office. Yea so dramatic and we like start to talk about how to tell the boss not to go the meeting since every morning we have meeting already..

We suggest that we have to go back to our University ask help from our adviser. But we remember clearly that she said we should bear our own risk and she wont be responsible for that since we already get the offer letter and we can't say NO then leave the company. I feel like crying when...when I heard this from my friends.So the first week was like a nightmare for me! Training , brainwash , lecture time , cry , friends list , phone call , tear , dilemma , confuse and feel like bring cheated by someone. Terrible hor! The next following month more worth..


     First Month

After the first week I persuade myself , trying so hard to get into it. Fit myself into the job. It's not a job anymore for me.. Seems so scary Now I tell you some summary of what I done and what customer I met for the first time in my life. As I mentioned we need to have a morning meeting everyday and boss introduce each of them to us and mention loudly ' We will treat you like a family not just an intern ' I was happy this came out from his mouth and I know it wont happen like this way. So the morning meeting was a MUST for everyone. I think MUST for them to show us that this is a MUST because after few month all of them only few appear only. Plus, one of the agent actually told us that before we came in this company less than 6 person appear on morning activities. Filming meh!?! 

Morning meeting will be like an activities checking. Each agent will be sit with each other between that ROUND BIG circle meeting table. I never blame for that meeting but you know what the first month ask us to sit down and hear the following month we dont even need to be there because our job no longer just that. Will talk about that on the 2nd month below. Then, each agent has to talk about what case and things they did on the day before that. Then like reporting your everything then SHARE experience when you close any case (sell also plan). For example now is Person A turn... everyone will look at him and he told us his story like...

This case successfully not because of my persuade. Was all about my hard work paid off and I don't ever give up. I just need to $#%@#$%@$#%$T$@R$#%@$#%#$%$#%#@$@#%#$% Then, we clap for him. Sometime for those who didn't close any case their face expression REALLY CANT SEE. The boss then (if realize) that month someone didn't close any case he will ask us to go out from the meeting room and give them drink coffee (scold them in a nice and polite way). Then we never say anything every morning on the first month because still got lots of thing need to catch up. So , we just be silent. Then during that meeting you can actually see everyone expression especially the old busybody women she one month no close any case and been scold by the boss..Then let say the day after is the beginning of the month 1st day of the month she will close 3 case (sell 3 insurance plan) Then everyone clap clap.

But once then walk out from the meeting door. All people gossip said 'wahh purposely let ppl scold then wait until end of the month give all cases and submit all cases so boss praise her now lah' I have no idea she's stupid leh or purposely make someone hate her. I hate her start from the second month when I start to do my own job in the office and she start to interrupt us. She's the one who always support boss say YES YOU SEE BOSS SAY CORRECT ONE MA. Then telling each of us their successful story. When you say your successful story there are someone who's not as lucky as you maybe he quit this job also because of you. I never know office had such those politic issues one. I never know...Now I know it!

Then the 2nd week after that, we start our telemarketing. Means phone call. One day calling 150 phone call from morning to evening. I'm not kidding this train us so much from a person not confident in talking until a person able to talk in public. It was a great experience but you don't know the scarification we did in order to stop our self scold by the boss. Each of our table placed a phone there. With a recording function so that boss can check what we call and see what we did too. 

During that first month, it took me a while in order to fit myself into it. Plus, boss keep saying that I'm being so negative never accept this industry I should be OPEN MINDED. You know I'm super open minded and super positive but just.. I feel like $#%$%^%$%$###%$#%#$@#$#@ when he told me that something I disagree. The first few days phone call he gave us a script for us to train then we did our first phone call. I get scolded by the person and I met lots of diff kind of respond. The funniest was, we actually didn't feel our tired but HEART TIRED </3

From morning 10.30 am start our phone call until 5pm. Especially the morning time we easily get scold by those stranger and the point is WHY WE DESERVE THAT?! If we are professional telemarketer then in order to get that salary I let people scold I'm okay la! BUT NOT THIS K?!!! Please differentiate that my lovely boss! As a leader he didn't really did a good task in his own.  Never sit down and think probably. Your way of thinking is totally different from our young generation. He just know how to use power to let others heard and learn from him. But in an insurance industries Boss doesn't means our boss and he's not the one who pay for your salary. All your salary and income FULLY DEPEND on yourself. And he get benefits too when you sell any case. It like a hierarchy diagram!

Sale executive
Sale person 

It's something like this I can't find the exactly diagram but basically a hierarchy. In order to get the sale executive position you need to have one bottom like (for example) then in order to become the manager position you should have two supervisor while supervisor need 2 agents too. So it was a group work got upper line and bottom line to help you run your business and get extra % of profit. A little bit like direct sales...

Can earn money seriously... But it's not what I want and I said NO ..means NO! PLEASE, NO. The funny part was..asked us to introduce our friend and IF THEY WANT TO become agent. Plus, they wanna do for recruitment.

they ask us not for intern but for

What a great idea that make me super hate the boss. Using such a dirty mind to deal with us. Cheating us like he's the right one. Ok! You need to give me the mark so I must control myself not to angry. I trained my EQ IQ ..How can someone be like that huh???? HOW CAN!!! 

And for the telemarketing experience. That was hard for me too. Not the way I can't talk. The problem was they ask me not talk like this way should be more 'gently' and the sound must act more nicely..softly.. So the old busy women demo for us. Every phone call we did she heard about it and correct us! Wahlao and the first month whatever we successfully make the appointment we gave those contact and information for them. That's really nice cause we no need to meet customer! But one time I called a man. I get scolded by the man.. So I feel really really angry (I'm very straight and I don't know how to be 'girly') 

I suddenly let people scold and I dont even talk about my purpose of calling. He pick up phone and scold me then I straight know that I close the phone. The man on the phone scold me that how can I call him without his permission and get his contact from someone that I dont even know. (I got it from my boss ma and boss ask me to call you + DONT EVER TELL YOU HOW I GOT YOUR NUMBER) 眼泪自己吞

I straight closed his phone. The old women being so busybody talk to me like she's someone. I feel really sarcastic with her conversation

'Chanwon, you shouldn't be like that'
'you  know~'
' I'm just trying to tell you that you shouldn't be like that' 
'how if he angry and check our office phone number then we get complain by someone HOW?!!'

(Hello old women , I know I shouldn't without saying bye bye then close the phone but can you stop talking like #$%Q$%$@$#$@ when you know I'm mentally unstable you still wanna talk all shits beside me and trying to cheer me up) Me, TAN CHAN WON..As a blogger , as a intern , as a student or as a daughter of my mom and my a sister.. I swear I NEVER EVER FEEL wanna slap someone! She is the first person I feel like I can't control my feeling... I should go to see doctor that time cause once I hear her voice I feel to BANG WALL! and kill myself I really really really hate her and others too but Idk why others can pretend to be good with her. wtf?!!

TELL ME WHY?! Then she talk to me.. I actually never cry or tear at first. Because you know in front so many people I'm not close with..My face very thin I need keep for myself and guess what. I CRIED IN FRONT OF THEM !! ALLLL! SO SHAME ! SO embarrassing! Then cry until got sound those like can't breath. My friend they know me quite well they just keep silent and take tissue for me without saying anything. But that women come and touch my shoulder cuddle me say ' It's okay la...I'm not offence and I just tell you wat~' Dont cry la.. 

I tell you once she touch me I cry more terrible..Feel like slap myself because the tear and sound just can't stop coming out from my eyes! WTF?! Then...she pour water in a paper cup for me ask me to calm down. I say I'M OKAY but all tear and what I can cry also come out. All people doing their own stuff act like nothing happen which was great for me because I really dislike cry like 43%$@%$Q%$#%$# in front of so many people Idk. 

Story haven end. Boss inside his room but he never ask anything then guess what. Someone walk into his room and personally told him how I close the phone call in a impolite way!  Who was that? THAT OLD WOMEN! You see how much happen just in the first month and I really can't explain my feeling on that day. Unbelievable this world still got somebody really so busybody and I'm not suppose to say this but she's really %#%$$%$^%$#^%#$%$Q#%@#$. (fill in the symbol) Lol Then on the way back I cried inside the car. (4 intern included me sharing car everyday one) They trying to calm and cheer me up. Then I cry more more more serious.

Once I back home I do like normal in front of my mom. Then I cried in front of my bro (this is how our relationship getting better lol) then at night I call my dear Lyvia and CRY LIKE SHIT. Then call smelly and cry again. So every day I need to talk what's happen on that day to 3 diff person and repeat the story for 3 time. Lolll but I really need some way to talk plus.. my bosss, boss wife and the 38 po don't know which one and who got check my social media platform. I don't even has the freedom to do my own thing. After office hour I'm still their maid like that wtf!

Then I private my fb acc and wrote a status say I feel unhappy then the next morning the boss got the eye contact with me (I know he want to say to me and act like saying to everyone) He said that social media platform should be used in a good way and the whole office only me was the one who active in this area. So officially that he mean TAN CHAN WON lo. All ppl look at me but like looking at somewhere else I was like wth is that? want tell tell la..why need to act like this. Ridiculous! Then I know somebody told the boss. He some more say we shouldn't influence people with negative feeling like always complain in FB la..what la what la

Like ' Chanwon you can use your blog as a influence tool to update about how insurance help people'
'update latest financial news to your reader'
'tell them you sell insurance la'
'then got business'

Fyea! You pay me 230752432k I also wont do that to my blog. I hide it so hard you ask me to tell the world that I entered a wrong company and wrong area so when lecturer come to site visit I get an 0 marks you happy la? wtf?! talk what also no pass by his own brain. I'm not agent why i need to bullshits on my blog too. Are you crazy?!!!!!!

Even my only and usual way of release my stress also can't do... I'm sad that nobody can help me. ONLY ME CAN HELP MYSELF. So I tell myself like ... Wah Chanwon you cry you wont feel so stupid meh (trying to talk to myself..I know I'm crazy) If you can hold on yourself to hit the old women why not cal down first. Take it easy and trying to calm down myself everytime I face it. Got few time I hide inside toilet , using my phone talk to my friend while inbox msg and inside cry like shit. Imaging I'm pee pee ing then I tear. Like ghost movie like that wtf?! Eh serious one I talk to myself to cheer me up 

because I feel that I don't have any way to show the true side of me. I need to hide myself . Hide my opinion , hide my expression , hide my angry and all shitssss!! EVERYTHING.. and I feel myself like a useless person whatever boss say DO, GO DO , SHOULDN'T DO..Even I hate it but I still  need to hear it because he talk to me the week after that. (In other word, threaten me

He asked my friends ask them not to tell  me how if he gave me an 15/40 (Means that I fail my internship even 60% is depend on my report but because our intern not a pass or fail subject we got grad one) So once you get below half mark on that 40% you consider FAIL! RETAKE! and you already signed the offer letter. So DON'T SIMPLY SIGN ANY CONTRACT OR ANYTHING WITH YOUR SIGNATURE DURING YOUR INTERNSHIP! PLS BE AWARE of this! Tell your friends tell anyone you know!

He told my friend like that and I'm sure he know my friend will tell me too. and still..nobody help's not selfish but it's the reality. Even if they help they will get scold. I know so I pretend I'm okay and I tell myself I WILL PROVE YOU THAT everything you choose to believe was wrong! So..... I did in the end boss praise me but still I didn't prove in any sales so I get scolded too. WTF?! LIFE!

Again, I talk to myself talk  ya talk ya talk ya~ and once someone ask about my intern my feeling and expression will suddenly like burst out and start to talk til whole neck and ear red. During that 3 month I just went to 3 events because I'm afraid my boss saw that and ask me why no sales and I dont even wanna sell anything because IT'S NOT MY JOB ! Then ask us to go and get a agent license and passed the test! 

     2nd Month

Without any hardship we get the license. A piece of cake and you know what I plan to fail it so I didn't study it. Boss know it and come scared us say if fail then fail our report again. WTF WTF WTF Then not end yet the story. RM200 need to deduct / minus from our salary because we are agent. Oh yea Fyea x2!!! Already so poor need pay petrol and tool and eat in office then now minus RM200. Means I get scold and get scold over & over again just worth for RM400! Then I talk to myself again to be polite to be nice to be the KINDEST PERSON IN THIS WORLD. My friends they all so steady cause they all just ignore but me...STUPID in my personality (over strong in principle) so once boss say what I die die also must remember it.

When he did what he say. I remember it. I care about it but others just LET IT BE / IGNORED. My friends keep ask me to ignored and pretend that I'm okay with everything. Ok end up I learn to ignore my boss and just :D :D :D Keep smile like a stupid chanwon in front of him. But stupid til 2 month also no sale he ask me to go inside the office room. One by one face to face talk to me asking me whether i got any problem or?!!! Why being to negative and again ! WHY SO NEGATIVE AAA CHANWON TAN!

On the other hand , the second month our job was slightly changed. We no longer need to pass all the appointment contact to others agent. We need to meet the client now. We have to go out and PRESENT IT TO CUSTOMER. I tell you I'm not bluffing because I cant sell it so I prove to the boss say I can talk. Boss praise me in front of all seniors and my friends but at the same time I feel regret for being our confident to prove everyone I'm not stupid because after that boss like 

Chanwon why you can talk and do sale but you still 

He somemore ask me to role play and ask a agent to give all kind of stupid question and act like a customer and I'm role play in front of 12 colleagues and real agent on how to persuade people to buy. I don't know where I got the skill but don't think I'm stupid k. I proved and he some more record my role play down and ask senior all to learn from me wtf* BIG MISTAKE I HAD EVER DONE IN MY LIFE.

Smelly told me to be stupid act stupid if ppl scold just give them a smile but I never believe that it gonna work! Now I should believe that I SHOULD DO THAT and shouldn't prove to anyone that I can do whatever I can. Lesson learned I should continue let them scold and just give them a bright smile :D < like this -.-

Then everyday we still calling people but this time increase from 150 phone call to 200. Of course we wont so stupid, I'm brave enough being lazy. I call it then before the customer scold me I can feel it then I straightly close it without talking with them. Like a machine. Keep talk and let others scold then when it's our 2nd month to do phone call we pro until even get scolded still can talk continuously with them until they really close our phone. All of us well trained!

BRAVO! I can slap myself for that talent. All of us can talk with stranger we don;t know regarding any topic. Some people so boring so talk about their life to us and some old uncle say that they're old enough to die so no need save any money buy saving plan to their children wtf?! During all the phone call we suppose to tell them our name but I wont so stupid use my real name! I call myself angel. I'm angel tan~ (Imaging that I'm pretty angela baby) LOLLLLL Surprisingly what you did in a phone call with your voice can let people know how you feel. So when you need to talk happily in a phone you really must BE HAPPY one. 


Example of some funny phone call :

#1 Case 1
Me: Hello Good Morning, I'm Angel (the a bright smile appear) calling from A company. Are you free to talk now? I got something need to share with you 
Me: Angel ya :)    << must still smile even let them scold
He/She: Angel ...

( phone call)

#2 Case 2
As usual...
Me: Hello Good Afternoon. Is this Mr. xxx I;m Angel yoo~ Are you free to talk now~~ 
Kind Uncle : Yea it's regarding?
Me: It's a saving plan oh for saving purpose one ya~
Kind Uncle: Oh A company a I got bought a lot leh. 
Me: Just give me few mins to talk with because this is my job to share thing to people and benefit them (WAHLAO SAY TIL LIKE GOD...But my heart really pain that I need to pretend that I'm really working on it)
Kind Uncle: Ok a..This Wednesday la..
Me: Thanks 

(Then some normal conversation take few mins)

Kind Uncle: Aiyo ~ Today really good oh Angel fall from the sky!

I tell you I happy til drop on that day mood damn good. Because when I'm being scold by people I really feel so depress then end up the last call this uncle didn't scold me I feel very happy til can fly. Then even can sleep nicely too. Really thanks that uncle even it was a fake appointment because he never appear at the end . BUT still at least he never scold me. It's my job and It's really annoying to do that but ...I realize all the feeling of telemarketer now. Imaging you call 200 phone call 150 people scold you...This was how I passed my 3 month...

I can tell you every day at least scolded by 50 people. Some even worst straight close your phone even don't let you got a chance to close back their phone. Some wanna go report police -.- 

Case 3
(Normal opening conversation~)
He/She: Wahlao no need la. I think you call me and know my name should know that I'm already 65 years old right. Can die already lo.. I no need la..
He/She: wah very hard hor keep call like this but I got free time to talk with you just not interested on the thing you share

LOL but still didn't get scold I'm happy

So far from my experience 3 days once only can get a happy phone call. Others 90% scold and 10% appointment was made but only like 1 % out of 8% will appear. There are tons of reason and diff respond from all the ppl who picked up our phone. Happy , Fun , Sad and angry one also. 

Case 4
Miss A: Sorry my husband just passed away few days ago....
( sorry for that)

Case 5
He/She : HUH?! YOU are doing insurance ar?! I'm also agent from company A leh!! 
Me: yea lo yea lo very hard hor. You see I still need to do phone call. 

Then start to chat for a while and cheer each other up by saying 'JIA YOU' LOL

Uncle: YOUR ENGLISH REALLY POOR. Don't waste my time I have no time to talk to you!
(Dooo~ Doooo~.....)
Me: ......................................................


Case 7 
Auntie: I buy a lot already lo
Me : Not buy ya is saving plan oh miss
Auntie : I'm not free la I'm cooking and I passed all my insurance stuff to my son one

( a baby crying)

Me: Okay thanks miss


Still got lots of example but because it's now 2.30am. This post was too long again 0,0 wtf?! I really got too  much to share from my own experience! Lol but each time we get rejected call or fail make appointment our lovely boss will walk in front and ask us why! Then review our phone call wtf?!!!! SO STRESS RIGHT! Then the busybody still keep talk and teach  us how to talk nicely. End up praising us say we were like a PRO. Know how to handle diff of question and reply them nicely even we feel angry. This sentence like talking to myself. I really feel %^$%$^$#%$# everytime she talk to us but actually very sarcastic way of talking I think. 

First, I feel sorry for all the phone call that I'm angry with. I know I did it wrongly I shouldn't close your phone like that but please forgive me as I need to call so many phone everyday and get scolded by the person before you. Next, I'm sorry for those who were busying or on meeting but still disturbed by me. Sincerely, I'm sorry for those I still able to laugh when you tell me that you 're not interested and not in Malaysia but actually I know you're cheating since you already picked up my phone it means you are currently at Malaysia. Then, I sorry for those who closed my phone after I told you my name ,Angel. I know it was like a prank call but I'm serious it's the task distribute by our boss. Even how I hate him all of us still afraid of him. So being a Angel I can talk and smile like idiot but it wasn't me and Chanwon only appear when she's home.

lol I can go to see doctor I need a consultant to consult me that time. I really really depress toward myself and feeling too real for everything that I experienced. Then we start to get close & closer with all the colleagues there. We went out to setia walk after our office time. I don't drunk I never step into club before but I went to beer factory with them. Boss not invited! So boss don't know but the next day all of them look tired then the boss know already. 

Next what he did? He scold the colleagues for being too close with us and affect our job. We can perform as good as before. Say their and our time if talk and have fun with us. He means that INSURANCE AGENT never can do/ earn any business with another AGENT. 

Boss:'Why wasting your time on something not benefits you?' 

Oh yea! You're right so nobody talk with all the interns in the office. Even when our lunch time we need to eat with them we need to use watsapp and each of us go out in diff time and gather in another place. Just don't wish they get scold. 


Every morning we feel hungry so we have our little breakfast. When my friends hit the target we can have our breakfast but if no business then get scolded by boss say want to exclude our lunch time if we have breakfast bread. So one day , my friends and I both sit inside the meeting room having our brunch we decided not to go out eat. The boss pass by and do the eye and face expression like showing us



He said that he treat us not an intern but treat us fairly like our colleagues. But when every time they have their lunch together with boss. They not allow us and we are NOT INVITED. I really hate people say one thing but do another thing. But they told me it's the reality when someone got a higher power than you.


To add on , I really think that this internship I didn't learn anything related or regarding my studies. In reality , I asked like 9 friends only 1 person say that he learned things and related to our study. Others all say their supervisor told them the same thing. Communication , management , leadership and teamwork skill. So apart from that for being a 3 month intern , I really learned a lot. Not to say it's bad it's also good sometime. I thought that it train my Emotional , Patient , Being Polite to others , Smile and being ignore to things that you hate. Just that one thing I dont like was....asking me to pretend  and hide my real feeling. Means not to be straight forward toward everything. 


During that time , we attended some seminal like what others agent do and they thought that we are gonna pay for that. But luckily end up they forget about it and you know what..Even after our intern! They still ask me to attend the seminal alone! Oh goooosh , how can you make your heart die for that. Can you stop a? I don't believe that my supervisor and the boss too..doing the same thing! wtf?


Oh yea! The most exciting part will be being break into two diff group with another 3 of my intern friends.4 of us break down into 2 diff group . Me and another male friend been group with our supervisor (the manager) while another two group under the boss. So I told you that I don't wanna open any shits agent license but boos force us to take the test and he told us even when we going to apply for banking area we still need the exam cert. I never study and I didn't manage to fail it. I passed and my friends too. First time ever sad and feel afraid for being pass because he threaten us with our report marks. So I have no choice and I feel like going to kill myself. So start from the second month who successfully make an appointment that person can go out freely and those who didnt get any appointment will be at office continue call your phone until you got the appointment.

Everyday we have to make a statistic report to show him while using computer email him. ok now something that we can apply our 1% knowledge on how to use microsoft excel -.- Then he will be back to check our report and start to ask us tons of question or maybe one by one question us. The most terrible was all appointment I made some totally date at night and I guess it shouldn't be any reason for me to appear SINCE IT'S OVER MY Working hour. Then Boss complaint that I'm never be responsible handling my client and not hard working enough! I was like okay and just FUCK OFF 

You gonna joke with me. WHY I NEED TO MEET CUSTOMER AND APPEAR ON THE APPOINTMENT at night? What's the reason for me to do so. Please lah. I already try my best fulfill all the needs and job you gave. I swear what he ask us to do we all do nicely for him but why I have no choice on  my own one! He told me that during our evaluation. He say I'm not putting 100% of my effort (ofcourse lo! who also know I hate it and all colleagues also know..only this boss still trying to brainwash me ask me to quite blogger and study join their agencies

unbelievable this kind of people do exist in the world

So.. He said that I'm lazy I didn't meet the customer at night. You all stand in my position and think. Actually I;m not the one who put the appointment at night. I very glad that if it was at my working hour so I can have some reason to go out with senior and meet client. This means that I  no longer need to be at this office and see his damn black face. Okay! So I got no reason to reply him as all the colleagues who really good with us ask us to follow whatever things and follow boss's heart. Don't wanna purposely fight with him. So I do..I'm a good girl (In my mind I keep telling myself that he's singing and it's okay if I didn't respond to him..Just be a good girl) 

     First appointment 

First appointment was quite scary! I met a business man which owe 14 retail shop for phone industry. We meet at somewhere near Klang together with senior. We can't meet alone since we are girl and it's really dangerous that ME,MYSELF still not really believe really got  people willing to appear and meet you one! But...all people meet you have others purpose! This person said that if we have any policies that suit him or we need to fight for our target he can always signed for us. ANYTIME

ANYTIME WE WANT! He told us that nicely and loudly. Then he starting to talk shits within that 2 hours time. I'm just enjoying taking my lunch because it's my favorite BA-KUT-TEH! Then he told us that big business doesn't involve in any term of money. it involved in exchanging item. I was like WOW! He said until macam-yes! He say previously got another agencies the new agent called him too and they successfully make a challenge to each other. The uncle say he can buy any policies as long as you need but he wont pay for any $$ he will replace that $$ with his stock. (this means he will give you phone as a term of exchange and money for the insurance plan) Such a clever business person. Then my manager seems very curious!

We asked that whether the stock is what kind of stock. It's not drug la of course it's those phone that HE CAN'T EVEN SELL OF. Means those 'water stock' or very very very old stock that all his retails shop also can't sell one. He will give that 100k stock for you and if you take that challenge + very despo to fight your sales then you need to sell of (think the way to sell it off) with your own. This world was too kind to me before I met him I know nothing about business stuff. Now I only know big business man talk in another way and his mouth really sibeh pro one! I admit that he's super rich but just wearing a simple T and a very ugly bottom with slipper on it. But drive a very rich car wtf?!

Then I feel like vomit all the rice out. He spoiled our mood I was like..It's my first appointment huh'~ Should be fun and I might learn something but I learned this all shits! Arghhh Then he continue his topic told us that his agent take the challenge that he wanted to give us a chance to fight our sale. After the challenge successful we can exchange the money with house with his rich car. He said his friends exchange his car with a house worth 400k last time and he believe the house worth 800k and that time he told us that the house price reached 850k..BLABLABLABLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

So lesson learned from the first appointment. Big business never involve in money but exchange with item. Think back I was like..It's something means that I give you body you give me money izzit?!!! WTF The way he talk really like scary people luckily someone partner with me if not I'm sure I will die on that place. Very dangerous so I really didn't feel like going out for appointment anymore.

     Second Appointment 

After that, I met diff kind of people again. This time another uncle which just get married and had a children. During our 1st appointment he show us some of his wife and son photo. Telling and sharing his life then told us that one year his insurance plan took him 10K+++ he want to protect his family blablabla. I really thought that he's the one who really look for it and of course I'm not the one who propose it la. My manager follow to cause everyone of intern have to out with a senior agent. My friends did the same too. Then within that last 2 month we met this same uncle for more than 3 time but each time he also throw a super hard question for our manager and every morning they will take it out to discuss on HOW TO ASK HIM BUY / THE WAY TO PERSUADE HIM TO BUY.

So...he sent my manager another company insurance plan. Asking them to quote a plan that involve in this & that see whether it's within his budget anot. But until the end he haven tell my manager and the last appointment with his was with my boss. My boss always lan-ci how much sales he did and how he can talk loudly & confidently in front of customer and ask them to buy. But this time he fail to do so. I want to laugh -.- So bad me! You know what..The uncle didn't give any name card and  never share about his job and telling us some good investment shares but I'm not interested Lol.

Then end up I can conclude that this person is really weird and my boss feel weird too since he never tell us what's his job and keep comparing our plan with another one. We conclude that he's not a normal uncle but maybe he's a agent too! WTF?!! Since he hold the other company detail and know too much about insurance. Maybe he wanna to know more about our company's plan so he can have further knowledge to sell plan to others too. LOLLL People in reality really 不简单!!

     Others Appointments

That two was my very unforgettable appointment throughout the month! Then after that others appointment was very normal , but I didn't really go the night one because I think it's really dangerous plus (i know it's funny) but my parents not allow. They keep wonder why boss ask intern to meet customer at night. WTF?!!! Then other appointments from my experience + my friends one were quite interesting too.

We met other agents which pretend to be customer then end up he just want to intro himself who he is and his job.

We met mortgage agents too . He wanna to do recruitment .

We met old business women too.

We met car seller too.

Basically we meet something new in our life but most frequently we meet agents in diff company but they pretend that they're not! WTF RIGHT? But actually now think back it was quite fun because it's very new for me! LOL just I can't agree that WHY I NEED TO MEET CUSTOMER AFTER MY WORKING HOUR FML!

I also learn some paper work and admin work too. Knowing more detail on all diff kind of policies and all scary attitude of agent. Most of them will be aiming their friend to be their customer and they told us that


It's like a lyrics. WTF! You never believe that every morning their meeting is talking about how they close the case. How they aim their customer's rich parent and how they manage to get into rich people group. Totally pollute our brain. So it's basically our daily working job scope will be morning activities checking , morning meeting , phone call , phone appointment , lunch , making report , 10% help admin to check client proposals , cry myself , hide inside toilet play phone for a while then ask for help spreading my negative thought for my friend and ask them to act like client inside the phone LOL. THEN END OF OUR DAY! Everyday doing the same thing!Oh yea, and see boss's face color do people wtf?!


     3th Month Internship

After that I didn't feel any emo anymore but turns to feel super tired. Idk why but my body isn't tired..Just my heart feel really really tired about that month. This month we still having and doing the same thing except we joined and teach our colleagues on how to use those slide and new multimedia stuff to do their presentation. Then we still meeting client , role play , been train and most scary one our boss and his wife asked us to go down the office.

#1  Walk around IOI Boulevard that area to distribute flyer.
#2 Face to face talk to stranger & walk to each office in that area building, one by one to distribute the questioning paper and survey.
#3 Walk to the car park and parking lot to distribute flyers
#4 Walk to mail box area of each building to put all flyers one by one
#5 Boss's patient reach to the max and forcing each of us to sell plan.

Those are a challenge for me because i did work as a part time promoter before and did all the thing I wrote just now but this time you officially taking an insurance questioning paper to ask and distribute to people around you. It's really WTF?! The most scary part was filling up the insurance / retirement / saving survey form. Firstly we survey around with our senior then no senior actually wanna do that since the weather was killing all of us . Then the week after only intern. Me and one of my friends BOTH PEOPLE under my supervisor been distribute to that job. WTF

Imaging you feel so afraid then you need to knock door by door on others office. Next, asking them to fill in your survey form. I TELL YOU..YOU CAN JUMP INTO A HOLE AND HIDE YOURSELF. You will see people around you afraid of you, walk by then walk faster than anyone else, even you just distribute FLYERS only people will run away and give you 5 finger to say NO NO NO . Then like I'm a zombie. Some office got very scary people around they keep looking us like we are a thief or ugly duck. That eye contact make me feel super uncomfortable and of course you if i saw someone promoting something I'm not interested..I will say NO KTHXBYE!

Just like that. Then nobody help us to fill in the survey. We walk around under the sun for 4 hours. Then when reached office the boss's wife come to question us. We only get 2 survey form fill in, She doesn't want this. She told us she can get more than 20 then talking all shits to us and ask us to role play with her. She will be the stranger and we will be the one who distribute the survey and ask her to fill in. Most funny case was the role play wasn't the real one because no one interested about it. The role play was like she acting a walk by stranger which told us ' LET ME SEE ..IT'S SEEM LIKE INTERESTED..CAN YOU TALK MORE ABOUT IT'

WTF? In reality when we walk through and passed by all people around us. NO ONE EVEN BOTHER US AND GIVE US ANY SHIT! WTF totally wasting my time and I was like sweating like hell. Then we back office the next day ask us to knock door one by one. After that one day I saw my friends pass by I was like almost gonna cry. I feel like begging him to help me fill the form! WTF He's so kind he help me fill in of course all the detail except the phone was fake. We also wont simply give real one and the question paper was like 

Are you interested to know more about xxxx?
Tick YES/ NO

OF COURSE, everyone tick NOOOOO!After we get those survey form. She ask us to call back and tell them we gonna give them a token of appreciation like xxx umbrella or notebook. WTF? It's just an excuse to date them out and ask them to hear all bullshits. I was like if people need people always will go and get any agent themselves. How you gonna ask them to trust a agent which walk in distribute flyer WITHOUT ANY AGENT CARD ON THEIR BODY?

Please use brain. My friend and I walk like a monkey doing fun show and people run away from us. Some told us say ' HEY YOU DON'T EVEN GET ANY CARD ARE YOU REAL ? blablabla' tons of embarrassing respond in. I tell you I never been so shameful..That's my first time...Feel really wanna hide my face under my shirt. wtf?!!! Then no license nvm WE DON'T EVEN look professional I really hope no one gonna snap a photo and post on any social media wtf?! Then THE BOSS'S WIFE totally also feel and know about nobody gonna write the real information and phone no. So she never call anyone just pass to us.

I know that it's fake number cause when filling the survey the people told us that THEY WONT FILL IN THE PHONE NUMBER but we beg them to fill in if not our boss and his wife gonna kill us. So they also  pity us help us to fill in. See whatever request by my boss...WE DO IT ON OUR BEST EVEN WE ARE REALLY DISLIKE the way they wanna get benefits from us. I swear it's really a challenge for me as you know I dislike to see people's face color and see people run away from me. Feel so %$^$#%^%$#$#@%

So my 3rd month boss really less appear but his wife handled us. Nightmare too. His wife always asked us.,....

'How aa ? your friend you got date them come out yam cha?'
 How a chanwon? How?
'Don't be too negative'
'Ask them come out to hear it , its benefit them you know'
'Huh? They reject you? They're not your friends. Not the true one because they don't think you treat them good.'
'Insurance sharing session  only'
'Can't date out? Then just dont tell them you wanna share this and that lah'

HELLO ?!Are you out of your mind? They are my friends! We have others friend was agent from other company which is much more professional of course I'm the one who purchase insurance / saving plan and investment plan from him. So ofcourse we all bought from that person and why I wanna sell to help you gain your sales? Are you really crazy and I feel like #%$#%$#%#%@# STOP CAMPUR TANGAN IN MY AREA OF MY FRIENDS! Just dont step in my comfort zone! PLEASE somemore ask whether can date my daddy and my grandmom to talk about insurance plan wtf!!!

So the last 2 week before we end of intern. We really miss colleagues so much and they treat us really good just as an agent they need to respect their boss. So we didn't talk in front of boss but we did open a watsapp group and discuss about night activities like steamboat / sing K / plan for many dinner too. Then last 2 weeks passed so fast and even I feel very depress too because me and my friends another girl too. We didn't sell anything yet. So boss force us and we both cried in meeting room

CRIED. I cried too much so it's very normal for them but my friends cried then all colleagues one by one talk to both of us. Telling that boss isn't really bad and he really wont fail our evaluation mark one so ask us don't worry because he also want us to come back after end of our study life ( Once I hear this I was like ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?) I'm not going back... Even if I want I wont go to your agency for sure! Bullshits.. Boss also feel really confident that people like us need easy money so he always think that we gonna come back after that. BUT PLS la. Don't even need to force us ma! He told us wont force to sell anything but end up telling us force is a way to motivate us to contribute on sales.

Actually the purpose of him to ask us sell AT LEAST one is because he know I'm very responsible ..All of us think like very straight. He wanna us to contribute and feel that it's a good job. By feeling good at the same time once we sold out one case we will be continuously contribute. He thought that!!! But sorry don't ever make any assumption on me PLEASE! Then we cried on the meeting room for whole day

Of course boss and his wife went out from the office already. Then both of us...silly us...Emergency call our dad. Is time to let my dad to be the super hero. My friend's daddy agree to ask one of his relative to buy a medical card. Then my dad help me pay for my cousin medical card. Means we been force until asking help from our daddy then both of our daddy until last 2 week before end of our intern only able to sell one medical card.

I thought it was enough but my boss doesn't want medical card because it didn't earn much compare with 10k saving plan or what. Whatever and who you are.. REMEMBER THAT..

ONLY MEDICAL CARD was important in our life. I came from a finance firm I know how to calculate interest rate and inflation rate. Whatever you gonna buy any saving plan blablablaaaa..It's better you use that money for investment because saving will only hold your money inside and the money profit you get was totally = to the inflation rate. 

Like today you saved 10 k in the saving plan then after 10 years you take out the money wasn't equal to today's 10K. Remember that every single token do depreciation day by day. One dollar today worth more than one dollar tml or next year or next few day!

Those who really need saving plan was those who wish to engage an contract form of saving plan in order to save money. Like those parent who can't control them self to save money so they need someone or something to tie them up in order to pay for the saving one. So that in the future they got enough fund to support their children education but whatever it is if you're a clever one you wont buy that. You will choose other plan in insurance company to earn more than the profit you get after 10 years. I personally bought insurance and a premium investment plan from one of my friends. So I know how exactly it work and people telling you save how much then after that you get how much balblablabl...The interest was equal to the fund you put in not the interest that your fund accumulated.

For instance , If you put 10k inside. Each year 10% interest. What they mean was 10% out of 10K of money for the rest of the year. Not first year you get 10% then second year (10% + RM10K) x 10% ACCUMULATE. If it's accumulate then everyone should buy that and don't ever invest. The table they show you about those interest rate one was not the figure you get if you really read and see carefully.

So it will be like 10K first year return 1k but you can't take out when it haven reach the maturity date. Then second year will  be 1k too. If you accumulate it will be first year 10k+1k return. Second year 11k + 10% return, 3rd year will be (11k+10%) x10% !! Those people say 10% each year if you invest 10k each year for 5 years then after that 10 years you can get how many amount. If you really know it. You know how they make you easy to understand but at the same time make you even look more stupid. Now you know but not all plan was bad ..Some insurance plan really good it's depend on what you need and what you want.

Pick the right one just dont get lie by them. Ask clearly! You see even we don't even confident on the plan HOW WE GONNA SELL it and I don't even want to sell since IT'S NOT OUR JOB and I really  hate they minus my RM200 for what register for agent fees! REALLY WTF. 


     Last week of Intern

During the last week of the intern, as usual one by one go into the boss room. Talk to him about what we had learn and things like that. Same as usual I cried like shit and I feel hiding myself at the toilet again wtf?! The boss telling me some fake story which he created his own because after he told me I asked all the people inside the office they tell me it doesn't happen -.- 

Once I go in.... he tell me. 

' know how much you get anot!' (Idk ...hmmm /.\)
' I wanted to give you 15/40 for that but I realize you will fail your subject.' (almost tear)
'I told your friends too and my wife ask me not to do so even I think you really very dislike about this job.'
'Why you being so small minded and negative' (yesss....)
'Do you know what you influencing power is really big' (yes i always know that sooorry about that)
'As a team work you make others people feel negative too'
'You make all people had a bad day everytime you had your phone call and then you ended your phone ..then you start to emotional unstable scold the customer in your mind , with all your negative words came out from your mouth.' (......)

Silent for few second

'You know what..You just like the BEFORE me' (.....tear...)
'When I was just start this as my business for life.. I just like you'
'I feel negative too when I'm not success'  (wtf?!)
'I always wanna make my parent feel proud of what you want for your life RIGHT?' (o.o)
'But you this kind of personality and attitude was too old..'
'You never open mind to accept the fact and your my past'
'Then I had been threaten by my own upper line/boss too'
'He steal and drag all my bottom line and open a new agencies..' 
'You can't be like this'

He still bullshitting and I'm crying like hell. My friends outside all O.O. Because you know I had hiding everything pretending I'm okay for the past 3 month so end up I was like. Okay since you wanna give me a 15 marks I actually fail it..SO WHAT! I'm gonna burst!! It had reached my limit. I had handle too much of stress you gave me i told him...I cried day n night but you force me to find my friend n family to buy. then i cry again (feel to slap myself) I told him I had my family issues and he keep asking me to sell to my daddy side of relative my daddy get really annoying seeing me cry and seeing me keep call him to confirm & meet for the contract. Being a social media influence I whole 3 month rejected all event , ads , sponsorship EVERYTHING THAT I LOVE TO DO..

So idk what else told him just cry like 38. I'm out of my mind and idk I got say wrong thing anot. Then he end up telling me that I was a good influence agent just i'm not open mind..WTFFFF you know I'm afraid he know that I went out meet event's friends and ask me to sell plan or check my social media. I dont even join anything at night after my working time. I don't wanna get into his room to talk with him. I really really afraid to pick up his phone or any msg. Really I think I need to consult someone after that


      My Thought

I used another 2 month to overcome and summarize everything but even it's the bad one I still able to learn many thing. Now I know if it's an unhappy job whatever I do I wont feel enjoy on it. I wont be happy on it. I wont have full contribution and commitment on that. Imaging you born in this world, you keep on chasing money , earn money , earn for everything but you didn't ENJOY IT! You don't enjoy life and feel stress under this kind of situation... I tell  you THAT ISN'T A LIFE..

We born in this world..just a very small period. Life is unpredictable and unexpected. We don't know what going to happen tomorrow. Idk you guys but after that I really feel that..It's hard to get a happy job. AM I RIGHT? Like my dad even  he's stress he still  need to work with it and get his salary get scolded and I saw his money really hard earn. So why I'm so independent I don't even use any single sens of my parent to any phone I bought , any insurance or anything. I know that I'm big enough so I get into a university that can fully finance by ptptn even when I was in foundation year. I'm gonna pay my own in the future. I dislike any argument in my family between my parents and they always fight for money. Too much to see and during this intern I know how people did bad thing to get commission and money.

Too realistic and too real until I can't admit that this is the life I doesn't want. I just wanna be happy and it's the simplest thing in our life yet it's also the HARDEST one..when we grow up...AM I RIGHT? So now.. I will continue work hard to my life.. Continue to do the thing I want , I'm happy , I love when I'm able to do so. I can't imaging if one day I really need to work in a company that pay me really high payment but I'm not happy. I must be really stress but I can't say NO.

You's your whole life. Sometime I wish not to be too independent because too much thing to be handle and no one else can help me. Since when..I start to appreciate things around me. People even just something someone did for me..I'm appreciate..Appreciate the moment I'm happy with..Because we don't know in the future..whether we still have the chance to do anot... Right? So..from now on..if you're a student please appreciate and dont ask WHY working wasn't fun..Because working is always about you helping someone to fulfill and achieve their dream ..You wasn't happy unless it's your dream your favorite job..your job that you contribute and commit on it..

I'm telling all the student out there. Please appreciate your parent gave you a good education chance. Not many people got that chance like me. I don't have any luck so whatever I do must really do x394230423043 than others. For those who still working to get a job. You will  get one if you never give up. For those who have dream but haven come true DONT WORRY. Keep fighting and telling / remind yourself ONE DAY IT WILL come.. Just need work hard , contribute and don't forget to be HAPPY! For those who searching for an intern job don't worry you wont worst than me one! For sure cause I'm always the bad luck one!! LOL GOOD LUCK AND ALL THE BEST SWEETIES

Remember that
'If you don't build your dream someone will hire you to help build other' 

DREAMS come a size too BIG so we can GROW into them!

I hope that you able to be positive and happy always because it's the hardest and easiest thing ever in everyone's life. If you can do it. Why not? Right? That's all for today's post. Love xx.


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