Something that might motivate you & Thanks for all your love ♥

20 June 2014

 Good Night my lovely sweethearts?!!  It's sounds so wrong when I say good night with you here & it's time to sleep now but still I can't sleep if I didn't update anything here. It's a lovely night I spend with my blog while pretending myself talking with someone like you here. I always update something 'more about me' post when it comes to midnight because I'm alone in my room right now. It's a very special day to me because I just back home and whole evening enjoy my day with my mom. It's June this month...It's her birthday too. I thought and planned something special for her so I brought her to ME Clinic @ Time Square and I'm having my facial treatment today.

Since my mom never ever step away from our house I feel quite special that she willing to go out with me lol and of course she keep shouting beside me while I'm driving (My driving skill actually not bad)! But I don't care because you know we really worried about Bebe being alone at home, luckily my brother back early to take care of him. I don't keep any secret and everyone of you know that I just did my double eyelid aesthetic procedure and I updated very detail at my blog > Double Eyelid Aesthetics Procedure  . Some of you actually inbox msg me with all your love and say Thanks to me. I'm blessed with all your love. I'm serious and my mom keep on telling me that my eyes look much nicer. So I'm quite busy this few day because I wanna surprise my mom with this so I guess is time to book a consultation time for her. I really can't wait to take a selfies with my mom and showing you the best result / outcome of our eyes. And I'm here to say a BIG THANKS TO all of you & ME Clinic team!

Oh yea and those who actually comment on my photo. I can't believe that you all love my eyes too. I really have to say Thanks for all of you..for loving me since years ago. From a secondary student until now I'm a 22 years old big girl. Now I only know even though I didn't shopping that much but I start to be responsible to pay my own insurance and some of my daily expenses and also give a part of my income to my mom. Although it's not a huge amount but...I will try my best to earn more money just like what I usually did. I realize that petrol really quite expensive too. So I have to work harder and harder! Flashback to few years ago when I was still a form 1 students or a primary school student...

Everybody complains about me. Teachers always say to my parent that I'm so talkative and it's not good. So I'm really talkative since I was just a kid! Teacher hates me when I talk super loud and keep talking with the one beside me. But when I'm not talking the teacher still blame me for making noise in my class. I feel that somehow I'm  not wrong. The teacher even hit me and scold me for that.. I cried and I try to control myself but still....even I'm silent I also kenal scold one..So I told myself why not just talk whatever I like since teacher already thought i'm the only one who always talk inside the class. I was disappointed and angry when I really stop talking but teacher still blame me..LOLLLL

When I was still a secondary school student..I'm a normal girl wearing a pink spec and a high pony tail. Didn't expect anyone telling me that I was pretty...actually no one praises me before.. Even my parents too because they always tend to compare their children with others. Especially those aunty and relative compared you with the same age cousins. I hate that the most because I'm not from a rich family background but all my relatives were quite rich. So since I was just a little girl..I already start to force myself to meet my parent's expectation.. 

To be honest, I'm not clever at all but I now can graduate with a result that higher than CGPA 3.5 . I know you will say that I'm just stupid to get this result or just so normal only but you NEVER know how much effort I put on it when I'm not the one who love my subject. I told you guys right...the main reason which make me never give up and keep moving..and I'm really happy i did it. I did it!!! Lesson learned...When everyone telling you that you can't do it..JUST DON'T BOTHER THEM because only you can stop yourself from doing anything you want.

The real case happened on me. 
When everybody didn't expect I can study well. I DID IT
When no one expect me to be so confident with myself. I DID IT
When no one believe that I can have a chance to be on TV. I DID IT
When people complain about all bad things on me...I MAKE IT TO BE A GOOD THING.

How can I make it? I'm here to thanks all of you! If can I would love to hug you right now because you guys never hate me for who am I. Never hate me because of my talkative mouth. Never dislike me because of my rabbit teeth. You guys love the REAL me...The real and only Chanwon.

#1 When years ago teachers told me that' Chanwon, you gonna suffer after you go up to higher level because you keep talking never hear what teacher say...It's bad you know..$^$%#$%#$%#'


After I start my university life..All the lecturer love me because of my super loud voice and straight personality. I wont hide anything and if i can't understand anything I will ASK! This make me feel like going to correct the way my primary / secondary school teachers. I saw some articles online that all talkative people like me will have a more creative and open mind than others. (lol I'm not praising myself!) Because we dare to talk ..We dare to speak out from our mind and we don't hide anything. I remember my first year degree when I'm doing my presentation..My lecturer told my classmate that she love my voice. It's loud and sharp although my English pronunciation not really good but at least I'm brave enough to talk. I'm here to thanks her because it's the only time I feel good with my talkative mouth! LOL Then after that I start to thanks god that make me super now..YOU all love it..right? lol

#2 When years ago my parent told me no need to go for high level of education because I'm not clever and I might be wasting their money. So I make a decision and choose my own way at the same time finance myself + borrow loan from PTPTN. I swear to myself that I must make them  proud of me. Proud of my stupid-ness plus ....being a eldest daughter I can't think for an another chance to prove them. So I gamble my 4 years study life to prove them. I didn't hate my study...just that I know my passion wasn't belong to that area but still...miracles happened! I'm the 15%  top good result student from my faculty. I didn't feel proud of that because...I don't have any passion on that area...But I do feel happy because my dad praise me once...even it's just once...

WHEN no one believes in you, believe in yourself.

No one teach me that. I just figure myself since I didn't get any support from anyone.

But still..I make it happen!

#3 I'm ugly and no one believe me that I can become a blogger + earn some pocket money + have all of you as my readers... Normally when people talk about blogger they will straight relate it with RICH , GORGEOUS , SEXY , BRANDED & etc...But I'm not even the rich one who carry lots of branded bags..I'm just the usual one..The very 'cute' one although i HATE IT but I have to admit that somehow I look really different from others. BUT

This makes me more special & unique than others. PEOPLE tend to follow what other's think about them. Like I always think that my rabbit teeth was ugly and freaking ugly x2384730983058134 but still..You never hate or dislike me... You still stick to me until now...

From a little girl til now..I really thanks for those who actually read my blog everytime even you didn't comment on it. You know who you are..

Blogging life gave my life a big changes...From a girl who just crapping on her blog til now she's has all your love. sometime I really didn't expect that much of love from you guys but you me for who am I. Without you..without me for sure. You guys teach me how to control my emotional , how can I release my stress by writing / updating my blog..

You guys turn all my disadvantages to something that you love about me. I hate my cute face but you told me that I look young with that and I wont be regret to have a chubby / cute face when I get older. I hate my talkative mouth but you all told me that you love it because I always talk crap on my blog & you enjoy reading it. I hate everything I dislike on me but you all always remind me to love myself..for who am I..

Last time I love to complain about myself. Complain my teeth , my flat boobs , my skinny body , my height... But you all told me that it's cute , it's okay with flat body , it's nice with my long leg even I'm short...

Not just you...I'm here to thanks Smelly for loving me.. When the first time I met him... he don't even know I'm a blogger or a pretty one because I'm wearing a spec..and I'm speaking broken english with some body language.. His friends and smelly were the only talk with me.. I know everyone feel really weird when both of us fall in love with each other. People always thought that I should go for someone who rich , older than my age & etc... He pressure himself a lot too because he's low profile one and always hope to have a normal life while once he together with me people start to ask him lots of weird question and even my mom. Those aunty also..Always say..Aiyooo so pretty should go for someone who already got job ma..why find a student + same age some more...#$%#$^%$#%

I know they want me to get the best one for my future but for all of the shits...I only care about one thing..The love and care he gave me for the past 3 years until now. I can swear no one can tahan me except him & of course my lovely Bebe. I feel like ask them to diam diam..Lol because they don't even know how much smelly help me. When I don't have my own car. He's the one who always fetch me to event, wait me..Sometime my class end early ..He's the one who fetch me home and skipped his class just want to get me some food. When my period come my stomach freaking pain at night...He's the one who pick up my call and sing some funny song..Make me feel better even it's still pain..

And most important..He teach me how to love myself..for who am I. At first he's not happy when I told him that I wanna do something with my eye but end up he support me with all his heart. Seriously I didn't expect that because even he didn't agree I also will go because hor....I very 'big women' one but end up he understand my mind and ask me just go ahead. When I can't sleep within that week he call me and calm me down even the day before the procedure. 

#4 Sometime I just think that we should just believe in our own..Believe we can make it. I'm really serious when it come to a relationship and when no one think we can together for such a long time...We make it! Even my mom until  now not really support but I guess no one can tahan 'my-type of relationship' not like most of you can always go out with your bf , your bf can brought you to anywhere...Unlike me..I go out need permit from my parent , I need report for them to get my permission. lol I must go back home before 12 but normally 11pm my mom will start to BOOM my phone. I go out with smelly he should make sure I reach home at 10pm. HAHAHA No one know this because they should ask like..Blogger job can so early back one meh..If event until late late??? Event until late late then I get scolded by my mom.. I'm 22 years old now but I still need permission to go every place I want and make sure to come back early. Until now smelly together with me...I never overnight in his house and he never come to my house more than 5 hours... So strict right?? No one actually know it unless my closed friends because they always wanna date me at night yam cha..But I always tell them I can't because my mom wasn't allow. Sounds like little girl -.- I hate it but I get used to it... because I know they wanna protect me... 

#5 back to the topic..When no one actually support me for going any trip..I save money every year to make it happen. You wont believe how can I survive only with RM400 per month. Sometime even less because I'm really really budget one and at the same time i should thanks all the blogger job which make my dream come true and thanks to all my Double Beauty buyers . my readers , my sweeties ...smelly , my dad and my mom...

#6 Sometime I really hope that my blog can motivate your or make you think further because I actually do talk with some of you. I understand what you feel when nobody support you in something & you have to go through all of these by your own.. Don't worry I will be through it with you :) Although I wouldn't be there to help you but I believe that if you think you can do it..Just go ahead and do it even it might take longer time than others...but you will feel all the goodness when you reached your goals and destination. When nobody believes in your..always remember to believe in yourself... I'm sure this would help you in a long term if you always remember this sentence.

Parents and teachers in school always teach us want to be a good one but they didn't clearly stated HOW to be good. They teach and show us the good model but never let us understand clearly HOW?! WHY?! WHAT? WHEN..Maybe you not the most clever or pretty one like me..But I'm sure you born for a reason in the world to make someone proud of you. I'm sure even you are not the pretty one but I'm always sure you will be the pretty one in someone's eyes. Be happy for who you are..Love yourself .. Stop complaining and stop telling yourself that YOU CAN'T do anything..Keep going and find your passion to do something you like and you're happy with..Don't living with the results of others people's thinking...

Although it's out of topic abit..but I really hope that you get what I mean and AGAIN, Thanks for all your love..No matter who you long term readers or new readers..sweeties...or anyone out there who actually reading my blog. I really need to give you a hug and thanks for loving me for who am I. Millions thanks to everyone who love me so much. I'm not the lucky one and I always go through / experience the worst one but I'm still the one who true to all of you. The one with super chubby face and sometime really disappointed that client or advertorial rejected me due to my chubby and cute face that end up wasn't suitable for their image... but at the same time I'm really glad & happy that for those who appreciate all my hard work. Thanks for all your love and trust.  I'm happy that I'm able to  meet all of you...

So before I end with this super awkward post... I wanna to conclude this with a quote from Steve Job. A quote or short paragraph that my lecturer show me last year which i guess it's worth it to show you guys....

Your time is limited , so don't waste that living in someone else's life.
Don't living with the results of other's thinking 
Dont let the noise of other's opinions drown out your inner voice.
Most important have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.
They somehow already know what you truly want to become
Everything else is Secondary

Hope that when you are sad...when you feel unhappy...feel free to read this back because I hope that this can help you to motivate yourself think positively. Remember always believes in yourself there are no Right or Wrong when you follow your heart because you will notice that it's worth for it. Just remember ...Just be yourself and I LOVE ALL OF YOU..xx


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