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▐ DearDiary #6▐ An Old Friend

16 January 2018

This is something really private and I somehow hope that I'm able to express more on these on my blog like how I usually did in the pass. But you know when you become more 'public', it's hard to just expressing yourself. You have to be responsible for whatever you are saying and posting. But today, I just 'die-die' have to blog about this lol.

So here's the story. I received a msg from my really old friends. We met 10 years ago, we are not really closed to each other. I name that person as 'B'. I went to have lunch with my besties today. Then suddenly while we are talking with each other, my phone rang. I open the notification and be like 😳🤔 I received a msg from B and then I scroll up to see the previous conversation and it is like super duper long time ago.

I never really texting or keep in touch with B as B also never text me + not really close at all after I enter Uni. Whenever B text me, I'm sure B need help on something or asking me to do something. It's quite scary and I never feel so afraid to receive msg from anyone before. But you know sometime when you are too 好人 (kind), people always give you trouble and when you don't know how to reject it. The trouble become your problems and you get really frustrated with thing you don't want to do but you are forcing yourself to do that and ended up with bad impression and maybe no more friend after that lol.

So B texted me saying that it's been awhile since the last time we met. Yes I answered B in a friendly way. Then B told me B wish to have some tea time with me dressing up nicely, high tea and ask me to bring Smelly together to join the tea time too. But people who know me and Smelly well, you know Smelly is quite shy. He not really know how to respond to stranger especially people who don't even close with me.

So I immediately replied B like, sorry I don't think Smelly can make it. Then me and my friend keep discussing the 'ultimate reason' of this text. Like have you ever experience the same thing like me? I suddenly think of maybe selling some product or like the past asking me to help in promoting something? Or B just being so nice want to catch up with me? But B will bring husband together to the meet up. Is this possible? I don't even talk with B husband before lol

But I guess the last reason is too impossible to be a real reason. Then we came out with a conclusion. There's something that B must need me. So I just continue to have my lunch with my bestie, fetching her back and come back to my house. I sit in front of the laptop and thinking why not to look for B facebook see how's her life going lol. This is really stalker mode. 

Then I realised she's selling something. So I very </3 💔 but also at the same time thinking maybe I misunderstand it? Or maybe B is really the 1% of people who just simply miss me or wish to catch up with me lol. But again, my friend told me confirm B need something from me. So I really don't know, but throwback to my previous experience meeting with my old friends there are always someone who try their best by asking me to be insurance agent, selling me MLM products, asking me to help promoting this and that.

I feel quite disappointed in a way that I gave them my precious time, but they use it in a wrong way. Never respect my feeling ever and don't really feel like talking with them anymore since most of them just basically promoting their product or don't even interested about you. lol They just hope to get your signature sign on the paper or else buying their product. Have you experience that too? Maybe in a similar way? I understand and respect them as my friend but sometime it's really tiring as I always believe they have no intention to do this to me. Maybe just when they are really urgent or need to fight for the sales?

But I tried the best to help them. Just sometime when it's out of my control, I will blame myself for being too kind or too soft heart for that. Or is that I'm really selfish to put myself first as a priority. I really don't even know and it's hard for me to reject them face to face. 

So after years of experience all these, I finally learned how to speak for myself. Not being selfish but being real and because it's also a way of respect myself and them too. Whenever I feel uncomfortable I should tell them right away. To let them know our feeling and know that it's not a good way to catch up like that. Yes, I should stop thinking too much and let see what's next. Hopefully it's not something disappointing. 

Yes, let's pray lol. Hope I won't 掉眼鏡 this time. If not next time whenever date me out in such a random way I will just try my best to ignore lol.




11 comments

  1. My mother had a student who didn't contact for a while. Suddenly she also bring her husband and some little presents come to my house to visit my mother. At first my mother also thought it is some sort of catchup but end up the next few visits were all about the water filter machine her husband selling... To me, it's weird that bring husband along to catch up. If really want to catch up, she will be glad if you suggest bringing other friends along.

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    1. Yes too!! I also wonder why but let see how!!

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  2. 这种事情经常发生在我身上,有时候还没赴约就已经有预感会被推销东西。 但是有时候还眷恋以前的好感情,还是会去赴约第一次(不然很难拒绝)。 如果真的是卖东西,就当做听听现在的传销还是保险是什么,不喜欢就诚实拒绝。真正的朋友是不会因为你不捧场就散的,如果真的散了,那这种也不算什么朋友,她只想做你的生意。 ( 这样做我觉得至少我做了我身为朋友的本分了)

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    1. 對 看到你的留言的確讓我知道怎麼做了
      對啊 不過有時候太過hardsell真的很sien
      還要聽一大堆有的沒的
      但至少如你所說 朋友的本分做了就可以了

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  3. Totally understand what u meant by that because me too experienced a lot of ppl especially a good friend of mine whom got married 2 years ago. But totally cut ties with me and everyone which made me think so so much even my bday also she was the last who wished me which is the other day after my bday whereas even she didn’t keep in touch with me I still posted present to her..... I’m not trying to be calculate but u know, it’s a good friend of urs.... more like 心意... 你真的有把我當好朋友嗎的感覺. So yeah last week after so damn bloody long she texted me saying sorry all and hope can be back to the good old days... in my heart... i tell myself... 失去了的感情真的不是三言兩語就能彌補回的.

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    1. 加油 不過他沒有賣東西給你就好
      還有些東西長大了的確變得不一樣畢竟不像小時候一起長時間在一起
      都自己有自己的朋友了
      無論如何希望你加油喔~

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  4. Same here!! I somehow hate myself being so kind sometimes lol.. If its small matter I don't mind to help sometimes, but when people not appreciate my help after that, or blame me for can't help them, i feel like my effort was nothing or my 真心被狗叼🙎🏽.. then the next time they find me i will be like, now is missing me or need me leh.. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Cause the feeling of being 嫌弃 or forgotton after helping them is really bad, like hello??!.. i treat you as friend and i thought we are fren? Sometime i just feel sick about it..😷 But now learning to love myself more, so try my best to ignore, learn to reject (its hard to reject when for me when its face to face situation, like i already used to say ok ah, no problem..). Now i think if people really dislike or left me because i didnt or cant help them, then let it be, can't bother too much or think too much, cause a few true friends and family are more than enough.❤️

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    1. Actually a lot of people facing this problems too. Then all my friends told me just ignore but it's hard to ignore sometime T.T Yes things like take it for granted but no worries, we all experienced that and I hope we able to live happily no matter what happens in our life <3

      Yes loving yourself is the first step of happiness. Whether your imperfection or what just learn to move forward , respect and love yourself!! <3 Jia you sweetie

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  5. I guess many people have the same experience. I used to not rejecting people but now I've learned to say no. If it is hard for you to reject, perhaps you can bring someone along with you and ask him/she to be the 黑脸,so you don't have to worry about the rejection XD

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    1. HAHAHAH first people who come in may mind is Smelly HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! OK I WILL BRING HIM THEN XD

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  6. Hiya Chanwon! Long time no comment here.

    I had this similar experience last year. My good friend from 11 years ago chatted me on FB asking how are you, etc (like so friendly approach me like that?) I am the type that never contact friends once separated (graduate or things like that) so I thought innocently wah she is so kind want to contact me back?

    Then asked me to meet up, wah so fun chit chat about the past and now.. Then suddenly she tried to offer me to join her in 'working' together, which she said can be done part time. I started to be suspicious because how come offer so many good things? Then she invited me for a sharing and asked me to buy ticket ($3 ticket ok la I buy for friendship) but at this time started to be suspicious why asked me to buy sth? Then after I did research at home her business and everything around it is an MLM scam. No wonder she was so enthusiastic and really wanted me to join her..

    Which I found out only later that I required to pay $1,000 to join??? Even more, I found out about it from internet, not from her herself. So, want trick me ah?? What kind of business require us to pay money first?? Then I ghosted out lol, never reply WA (I read only lol) and in the end I blocked.. Eventhough she was my friend, I really cannot tahan ignoring (and I never have the heart to refuse) so I literally was ghosting and running away.

    I think the best thing in this kind of occassion is always bring someone to be with you if you plan to meet up with people, when possible. Like Smelly, perhaps he will be able to see the situation from different angle (not as old friends) and he can be more rational, alright? Perhaps next time we can be braver to say no and dun be too hao ren ba? I am still trying.. XD Jiayou Chanwon!

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