How are you?

23 November 2020

Hello Sweeties, how are you doing? Is everything alright? My mood swings a lot lately. Like sometimes I woke up with a super motivated mood, sometimes I do feel a little down or feeling lost. I guess this is the effect of force to stay at a same place for more than 3 weeks. But I think everything slowly get back to its own after I can finally out from my house.

Yes on the first 3 weeks of CMCO I'm stuck at home it's red zone in my area and I feel like stuck at a same place for a long time and it really make me feel sick too. Till one day I think I'm over worried about all those cases and due to the pandemic too, I really need to escape from staying indoor. The first two weeks were alright but until the third week, I feel so hard to breath. It's like something stuck there, feeling as heavy as a big stone. It's like blocking it and then I googled it, it might be the stress or starting to feel a little depress on it.

I immediately tell myself is okay on it. I should go out a short walk, I put on my Apple Watch and go jogging for awhile before the sky turned really dark. Finally taking a deep breath outdoor. I miss traveling so much and just wish to go outside, instead of just staying at home for such a long time. I think even worst than during MCO because I was all alone at home all these day. Smelly went to work and only back at night. I keep myself for being busy on work but at the same time, my brain was telling me to get a rest and really wish to go out for a bit.

I also over worried about going downstair to the lobby just to collect my parcel. Once I go down to collect my parcel, I will immediately go to shower, wash from top to toes and keep thinking if I get in touch with anyone who are positive. I guess it's all because I was stuck at the space by myself. But after that few days of nightmare and insomnia at night, I decided to visit to my friend place and at least going out nearby my area and go back to my previous house, spend sometime with my parents or friends and not just stuck at my place.

Now I'm all alright and it's why I disappeared for weeks and didn't update my blog. I was all happy in the beginning of Oct as it's my favourite month ever, I thought of planning a small getaway trip in KL also I receive few mini events invitation but all have turned into a dream when the second waves are coming back and the positive cases of covid goes from 1 digits back to 4 digits daily. Everything just like fml. I really don't know what to say.

Talking about the new normal, I think I have been doing good to adjust my new lifestyle. But it's also quite stressful for me as I can't really going outdoor or having big shoot based on what I planned. I was telling myself, is okay for it but what makes me sad is nothing more than couldn't create any travel related content. Like 70-80% of my previous content is all surrounded on exploring, trying new things and visiting to new country. I really looking forward to have a MASK-FREE kind of daily life and I feel annoyed every time my skin turned worst whenever I have to wear a mask for a long period of time.

If you are feeling the same then I'm sure you are not alone. Through social media platforms, I also get to interact with many of you, there are so many of you feeling the same like I do. I really wish that we can no longer need to fight with the virus and everything can go back to how we normally use to be. I really miss going outdoor freely without over worry about washing hand, touching things or social distancing. But all I know for now is, it's something out of our control, what we can do is just doing proper social distancing, wear mask and sanitise our hand 24/7 and stay indoor as much as possible. 

There are nothing much we can control other than looking forward for the vaccination to come out earlier. Now I finally know how it feels like in a situation that we can't have full control over things like this. I guess that's a part of our life and I need to learn to take it easy as well. I'm really a control freak now hahahaha I hope to have full control and choices on my life, I really dislike uncertainties and things that out of my control. Like no choice like that. But yes, I should take it easy!

In my 2020 Resolution I remember I updated about taking care of my mental health. Frankly to say, it's really quite tough for me especially for people who really 心急 having fast life like me. I really have to take my steps and really slow down in a bit. I guess this is really a challenge for me to learn and at least I need to learn to slow down. Maybe my working industry doesn't allow me to be slow, usually everything have to plan well, stick nicely with the timeline and schedule given, so when things goes out of the control, I really feel so hard to take it easy.

I was blessed that I have each of you and of course, my biggest support through Smelly. He never complain about it but communicate, talk to me and ask me is okay to slow down a little so that I can take step by step. Without his support through this few months, I guess I will be going crazy over everything. Also he will be my husband soon, I should also allow him to share my ups and downs, not just keeping all unhappy things for myself. I really feel way better when I talk to him. It's been 10 years plus since the day we hold our hand together and can't believe I'm calling him my husband soon. Our wedding ceremony also postponed til next year and hopefully I can settle everything as soon as possible. Not hanging there like it takes forever to deal with the postpone and changing on date.

Don't worry when you see that I'm able to sharing it with you guys , through my blog, it means I'm feeling way better now. Just want to look forward for every beginning of the day and don't let your negativities take you away. We can do it, if you feel sad or anything, remember to speak it out and talk to someone you  trust ya.


Now look at the calendar, it's almost the end of November. One more month left until 2021. Have you prepare for the new 2021 now? If not then remember to keep going and achieve all your resolution this year. I really think I'm learning so much this year, like slowly picking up my cooking skill hahahaha, yes like finally, and looking through all the resolution I put, I think I'm basically done with 85% of it. Pretty happy with the result and also all these negativities can't stop me from doing what I want.

I'm really looking forward to be able to talk to you guys again. Maybe I shall tune on my instagram live when I feel bored at home ahahaha! like what I did during MCO. Hope you all are doing good and we, for sure, will survive through this pandemic period. Take care and keep going!

Will talk to you guys again soon. See you on my next post. Love, xoxo.

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