House Renovation + Wedding Preparation Thoughts

14 December 2019

Remember the first day I got my key I was like the crying babe. It was exactly 5 months ago, which happened in July this year. Fast forward til today, it's now December. I still can't believe that I have been neglecting it and busy with my work until lately, which is 2 months ago I start dealing with interior designers and contractors. Learning everything myself and busy with my house renovation thing.

To be honest, if you are dealing with renovation stuff as well the first thing I will always recommended you to be calm and don't be nervous. I'm so in hurry when it was the end of October. Suddenly I realise, I'm paying it every month but I never ever once stay in it. I was busy with my work and travel schedule, every weekend , every single day I hope to make the best decision ever until one day my friend remind me if I'm going to celebrate my Christmas in my new house.

Then I was like 'hmmmmm....wtf! I dont even have the tine to deal with it.'

So I look at my to-do list, there are one to-do which I keep postpone until today lol. To really put time on making my house a HOME. A place where I can do whatever I want.

Next, I immediately read all the renovation stuffs online, learning the material, looking at the quotation, meeting with different designers and contractor. Until one point I simply want to give up. At first I'm so in hurry I wish everything can 'goodie' (finish) on time but in fact, I'm going to change 90% of the interior including the flooring, the wall, the electricity, plugs and kitchen. I wanted to have a full 360 degree makeover in my place.

I have been using my whole freaking savings my own for this, I must make sure I do it right, for the first time in my life. Meeting with diff interior designers and making decisions my own is the most tiring thing ever as diff designer basically got diff style, I have limited time to deal and meeting each one by one.

So until lately, I have been decided to do it once and all by myself instead of hiring the designer. As most of the thing I want, like the theme and style I already had in my mind. Most designer designed modern design like very dark color tone which I dont like. I love something Scandinavian, refreshing, light color, wooden and it's more toward nude, white and gold elements.

After days of dealing with it, I'm quite frustrated until one point I meeting my friend's husband who are the contractor and he get 100% what I want. He's not a interior designer but when I showed him the color theme and style that I want, he immediately can tell me with all the material name, the style and procedure to achieve that, showing me all sort of thing his work.

We just clicked then only I realise, when it comes to design and renovation things, you really need to have that 'click button' with your id. Or at least he know what you want. At the end of the day, since it's already in December now and I'm not rushing for the renovation anymore. I decided just take things slowly instead of being frustrated over it.

I first getting someone and get in touch with them. Deciding which plugs for which room, position and knowing which room is for guest room, for work and master room. After deciding all the electricity thing, I then deciding the number of plugs that I need to put in each corner, the position added with extra air-con unit.

Only then I choose for flooring, the style, google for reference and look at Pinterest, showing mood board to the contractor, then slowly think of the kitchen and what paint I want, colors for the island and the kitchen sink. Then slowly I added up and look at the quotations, WOW! Cost me a bomb. Just the kitchen already used 15k of the budgets, customised painted color wardrobe and the vanity table as well as the lightings and stuff. Total of the quotations from my budget goes up to around 60k.

Nowadays whenever I'm out to shopping, my friends always remind me, this bag is equally same price and amount with your kitchen. You better dont buy. You can get your dream kitchen dream came true. Which is so true and I stop shopping for awhile lol.

Then as my new home is about 1100sf, there are nothing I need to purposely pay for an interior design to help me on that. I basically got the whole planning on my brain, I need someone which can guide me and output that for me. So instead I straight away dealing with contractor at the end. One id design can simply cost 6k-8k. But with id your life will be easier, you no need to deal with each little thing one by one for yourself.

But since now I decided to dealing it slowly, I think I'm alright to do with it. So I can basically have full control on things I want also deciding the color. Of course, budget concern I rather use the money on renovating my extra room or buying a vacuum or iron lol. I see most of my friend they never worry or even save money to get a house or renovation fees, they get sponsored by their parents which is really lucky.

While I have a kind of life that I can only rely on myself. It's why I start my savings when I was really young. If not mistake, It's around 18 when I start realising it's important to have a piggy banks so I can have whatever I want, buy whatever I wish and basically get my first home and so on.

Not blaming anyone but I must work hard on making all my dreams happen. So at the end I have the choice to live the life I wish. Until the day when I finally paying out 50% of the upfront deposit, I feel sorry to my piggy banks. HAHAHHA I need to start saving all over again. But is okay, that's what savings for! HAHAHAHA

So now I know why my friend told me, getting a house isn't an ending for you, it's just a beginning. A beginning to more debts 😂 or maybe to spend more more more & more on renovation. Money gone like water in just a month. My piggy bank is telling me to work extra harder again but I think all of these keeps me and motivates me to go further.

Next Monday all the renovation will start while the rest of them will also at the same time painting and preparing all the customise kitchen cabinet and thing. I myself have to go and deciding which furniture, the dimensions and to get the measurement for them so the contractor can put everything in position and estimate the space for me to put my sofa, dining table and so on.

Quite headache but I'm doing to do it little by little. Hope I'm not stress up with it. If not I'm worry that I might have second break out with pimples or might have skin problems again. The whole renovation will be done (estimated) at the end of February due to the holiday break during Chinese New Year in January. If not it can be done in end of January. So I guess the latest should be end of February.

Please pray for me and hope everything can be done nicely. Doing renovation isn't like playing the sim game. Once you have decided and during the process, you can't reverse it back. You can't say you dont like this wood, this color, this design and stop it. You already paid for it so every steps, every decision you must be thinking it twice, at least lol.

While the rest of my brain, still searching for some good ROM Wedding ceremony venue. I thought it's the most headache one but the most headache one goes to, I thought marriage is just between two of us. But when you really talk about and dealing with it, shits do happen sometimes.

Since Smelly proposed in Oct, I have been wanted to do my private ROM next year. Suddenly all the adult telling me all kind of Chinese rituals , traditional that in Chinese Age (one year older than our normal age and born year) anyone who is going to reach their 29 years old, they couldn't marriage on that specific year.  Some believe it, some wont. I even asked google and read all the articles, the more I read, the more frustration I get lol.

So after reading all these, I decided okay since can't then maybe end of year December 2020, I can because it means I'm one year older after the Winter Solstice day. That's mean in Chinese Rituals after the Winter Solstice day, it consider I'm a year older. Lets say next year officially I'm actually 28 years old, but in Chinese calendar /chinese age I'm consider as an 29 years old girl which I can't be married. So if it's after December 21st or 22nd , the Winter Solstice day, I will be one year older in Chinese age. So by following the date and all believe, I'm consider 30 years old in Chinese age. It means that as long as I get married after Dec 21st 2020 next year, I got no problem with the rituals and all sold of weird excuses lol.

At the end when I'm deciding it, my parents is the one who making me crazy. Suddenly saying I have to follow both of their zodiac sign. Also need to count in Smelly and both of his parents zodiac. WTF I was like can't I just do whatever I want just get married sign on that freaking paper and that's all I want. I like western wedding so much, all my friend go with western style they get into married with a happier beginning while all my friend who followed or I mean forced to follow what their relatives/ parents said get really bad on their actual wedding day.

They argued, they cried and with lots of Chinese best time to enter room, to go to parent's side room, to follow this and that, left and right. Just by looking at all these just making me feel so stress. It's why I have been with Smelly for so many years, I never thought of doing a full traditional wedding thing. I want free-style or western style a little bit. Just take into consider some traditional and some useless one I will just untick that lol.

I really wish but each time when I'm talking to my mom, wow the more information I get and the more rules or Chinese rituals or believe I need to follow. So I ask my mom, we all are free thicker, we don't even have anything to follow in the past. Why when it comes to these important time for my life, the only once in my life, suddenly I have so many things need to follow. So whenever I asked, why this what is the reason. The adult will only tell us, JUST FOLLOW IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. If not future if anything happen to both of you, you can only blame that you didn't follow all these proper procedure.

WIN
WIN
WIN
👏🏻

I always walk backward and tell myself okay since they say can't married when it's 29 years old. So I follow and I read up all articles regarding such practice I finally found a way and I want to continue it then each new and updated believes and tradition things that I need to follow/ or I MUST follow just driving me crazy. I mad twice whenever I'm talking with all those old parents. I really can't than. Why marriage not working they dont blame on the person, they blame on someone who dont follow those tradition during their wedding day. Or they dont blame about the real facts lol I just dont understand.

I know that they wish to give the best for us. They wish that I couldn't get a better life but really I never believe what my friend used to tell me. until now I understand what really mean behind their advice. Really something that we couldn't even do it our own. But it's something that WE MUST DO. I can't la especially recently I went to my friend's wedding, I see them get very very pissed off and disappointed right after their wedding days. 

Some forcing to do a big wedding event by their parents, just like doing a show. Smiling and taking photo with stranger that you dont even know who the hell he/she is. Only thing your parents told you is, must have wedding dinner one. The bigger the better, they all my friends all you must give and invite them to come.

Wahlao, I dont even know the uncle surname and I dont even remember when I met him. It's my wedding not their showtime man. Enough with it therefore, my lowest boundaries is doing wedding ceremony and private ROM just for my super closed friends and both parents and family. 

Some weddings can be grand, can be luxury, can have more than thousand guest there and all that only happened for one night. Some of my friend take loan to make their wedding dream come true. Seeing all these I think you guys have seeing me talking with all of these story over and over again on ig stories. I'm getting tired for it.

I love something that can be small and personal. I wish every guest which I invited to witness this important day in my life is truly the one to be happy for us. I wish that I couldn't have a wedding ceremony that surrounded with real people not strangers. I want each of them who get invited to feel how important you are to me. Therefore, you are invited. I want you all to have a real joy and able to go to these table, chatting with you guys. Telling you my thoughts and seeing them laugh with me. I hope to make it like a gathering and introduce each of my friends to each other. Also making it like a speed dating time for single friends. xD

I hope I could give my blessing to the next one, I wish I could share those happiness during the important day of my life. It's what truly a wedding ceremony for. I went to one western wedding dinner in Brisbane with my friends last year, it was indeed the best one I could ask for. There are only 8 tables, each tables around 10 pax.

One brides side's parent, then secondary primary school friends, working colleagues friends and super closed one. Each of them get to witness these important day for the married couples. They laugh together, talking some old stories and each of them tears, crying and feel happy for them. They dance together, making fun with each others. The couple can get really close with each of the invited guest. I really can see the smile from their heart.

I really wish that my wedding ceremony could be something like that. I just want to experience and preparing for this. For the once in a life time. I want it to be chill, to be fun, to be a memories that I could remember when I'm old. I'm alright to follow some traditions thing if it's practical, if not I think it's time to look forward and really knowing why you come to this stage in your life. Marriage isn't a trend nor an event to show off how rich you are or proof to anyone that ' oh my daughter is married with someone which is rich, handsome and can afford thousands guest to be here'.

The more I'm dealing with things like that, the more I feel like I want to just simply go to JPN, sign the legal document and say Yes, officially a marriage relationship with your husband. #KTHXBYE every time I hear with those super terrible and funny believes from the old one. Whenever I ask, where you hear from, any proof. They just say ' OH IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD MAN, can't dont follow it

So now I just busy with my renovation stuff, having couple shooting trip with my friends and team next month. I now on hold dealing with the marriage date and shits with my parents. I really can't deal with it myself. Even Smelly's parent never follow such things. My parents side, the more I tell, the more approver I need to get from them. 

So yea, if your parents let you do whatever you want. You are always the lucky one because they know the best for you. If not, then look at me I'm dealing all the shits everyday 😂 Everyday seems like I'm the bad girl who dont follow the rules set by my parents. I dont even know why everyone must force me to do things I dont like. Even want me to follow please show me proof, instead they just told me that I'm always the bad one who never follow. If I ever follow what they told me is for my own good, I wont be here today. To have a job I like, to enjoy every single moment in my life.

But I keep asking myself to not fighting back. The only way I can release my stress here is my blog. lol Because they don't read lol. So I guess I just find a proper time to talk with them for this again. Otherwise, I better just shut my mouth and do that smile face :) to them whenever they give me and told me new shits to follow.

But still, I still can't wait the moment I'm someone's wife. Or the moment I'm wearing the white gown walking toward Smelly and hold my daddy's hand. I will wait it happens. Been waiting that for 9 years so that's not even a problem for me. But I hope I'm able to record and take down all these note , updating all the preparation on my blog.

I hope to enjoy the process of preparation for the new stage of my life. Will always grown up with you, be with you and see you guys here just making me feeling like a home. 

That's basically sum up the my thoughts and things I'm dealing with since November til now. Hopefully soon, you guys couldn't join me on my ROM story and keep you guys update regarding my preparation and house renovation.

See you guys on my next post. Til next time. Love, xoxo.



4 comments

  1. Exactly! I feel you Chanwon. In the end we need to fulfill parents wishes for our wedding plans. As if they are getting married instead of us. Dream wedding is only a dream. :( Pity my husband too because of all these traditions, guy side have so spend so much paying for the girl side wedding dinner and so on. Feel like owe them big much. After everything is over then only realize it is such a big waste of $$ even though it is once a lifetime :S Try not to feel so stress about it k. Jia you.

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  2. Good luck to you for your wedding and house renovation :)

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  3. 婚姻原本就很難是兩個人的事。可以先安排註冊,幾個月後再安排傳統的婚禮。有時候傳統這件事,知道的人若不跟從又害怕那是真的不好。所以很多時候真的就是不知者無罪。
    你要相信,父母是愛你的。
    加油!❤️

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